50 jokes · Clean & Family Friendly · Free to Share
Science is serious business — but that doesn't mean it can't be hilarious! These science jokes are perfect for students, teachers, and curious minds who like their humor with a side of education.
50 jokes total
#1
Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
#2
I told a joke about noble gases.
No reaction!
#3
Why can't you trust an atom?
They make up everything!
#4
What do you call a cycle built for two in chemistry?
A bi-cycle of reactions!
#5
A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer.
The bartender says: For you, no charge!
#6
Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher?
There was no chemistry!
#7
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
A one molar solution!
#8
Why can't you tell a chemistry joke?
Because all the good ones argon!
#9
What did the biologist wear to impress his date?
Designer genes!
#10
How do you organise a party on Mars?
You planet!
#11
Why did the chemist read the book about helium?
He couldn't put it down!
#12
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium, and you can't curium, you might as well barium!
#13
Why are chemists great at solving problems?
Because they always find a solution!
#14
What do you call an educated tube?
A graduated cylinder!
#15
Why did the electron go to therapy?
It had too much negative energy!
#16
What weapon can you make from potassium, nickel, and iron?
KNiFe!
#17
Why did the sun go to school?
To get a little brighter!
#18
What did one tectonic plate say when it bumped into another?
Sorry, my fault!
#19
Why did the amoeba fail the test?
It split just before the exam!
#20
What do you call a fish without eyes?
A fsh — no i's!
#21
Why did the biologist break up with the physicist?
There was too much friction!
#22
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
You may have more degrees, but I have more experience!
#23
What element is a girl's future best friend?
Carbon!
#24
Why do programmers prefer dark mode?
Because light attracts bugs!
#25
What do you call a microbiologist who has visited 30 countries?
A culture buff!
#26
Why did the germ cross the microscope?
To get to the other slide!
#27
What is a physicist's favourite part of a baseball game?
The wave!
#28
Why did the two ions get married?
Because they had a chemistry together!
#29
How does a scientist freshen her breath?
With experi-mints!
#30
Why can't chemistry teachers make good jokes about oxygen?
It would be too O-ffensive!
#31
What is the chemical formula for coffee?
CoFe2!
#32
Why are helium, curium, and barium the medical elements?
Because if you can't helium or curium, you barium!
#33
What did the rocket say before its first flight?
I'm over the moon about this!
#34
Why did the photon refuse help with luggage?
Because it was traveling light!
#35
What's a vampire's favourite blood type?
B positive!
#36
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?
He needed his space!
#37
What do you call a bear in the rain?
A drizzly bear!
#38
Why did the scientist draw a crooked line?
He wasn't in his right mind — he was using the left side of his brain!
#39
What do you call an iPhone that isn't plugged in?
An ampere away from a solution!
#40
Why are bacteria so good at math?
They multiply quickly!
#41
What type of music do planets like?
Nep-tunes!
#42
What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific?
Nothing, it just waved!
#43
Why did the electron break up with the proton?
It was tired of all the positive energy!
#44
What's the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, the other is a pause at the end of a clause — unrelated to science but still periodic!
#45
How much does it cost to study gravity?
Nothing, it's always falling!
#46
Why did the quantum physicist get arrested?
For being in two places at once!
#47
Why does lightning shock people?
Because it doesn't know how to conduct itself!
#48
What did the DNA say to the other DNA?
Do these genes make me look fat?
#49
Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements?
Because if you can't heal-ium or cure-ium, you bury-um!